Things I’ve heard from my window #28:

“The thing is though mate, I’m a bit reluctant to take it again, last time, she got the hump and left when i admitted to peeling the screen protector off her new iPad, i was just stuck there with a hard on for hours hoping she’d come home….. Isn’t there anything else I can do? What did you do when you couldn’t…..erm…..you know, satisfy Wendy??”

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